Today I got an email that totally suprised me. It was from someone I knew from childhood who, out of the blue, finally told me that he had always been in love with me. As I was reading the email, my eyes got wider and wider and I could hardly believe what I was reading. I hadn't heard from this person in years. He said he just needed to let it out after all this time. So, after almost 20 years, he apparently still feels this way. Wow. I was speechless, although I did email him back and thanked him for telling me.

It's crazy, this thing called love. Is it possible to love someone and not tell them for 20 years, knowing its an impossible situation? That that person will probably never be theirs? Is it possible to love more than one person at the same time? Which is more important? A physical connection or an emotional connection? I wish someone would tell me the answers.

Sometimes I feel so confused, sad, guilty, regretful, wishful. I wish I could just step back and see with clear eyes. I wish no one had to get hurt. It seems like I always end up hurting someone. I wish someone would tell me the right thing to do.

Labels: memories, musings